Selfie at the foodbank

I’m a Tory MP with a mobile phone

I might have had a few WhatsApps with Baroness Mone

I’m not a liar just a bit inventive

I think starvation is a good incentive

I’m down the Foodbank like the rest of my peers

Giving my thanks to the volunteers

Giving mince pies to the NHS workers

Calling disabled people shirkers

Twenty quid a week should feed a family of four

So we don’t really need Foodbanks any more

But I need to be popular to save my seat

So here I am giving poors something to eat

I really do think they’d have just as much wealth

If they didn’t bang on about their mental health

I didn’t get where I am today

Without having rich parents who paid my way

I’m sick of woke lefties trying to silence my voice

And yes, homelessness is a lifestyle choice

And so is living in poverty

But thank you for the photo opportunity

Call the press, get on the telly

I just donated some fruit in jelly

Tins of beans, own brand, mind

I’m not really here to be selfless and kind

You don’t get nothing in this life for free

Unless you’re a well-off Tory MP

Do as I say and not as I do

If you don’t behave, we’ll sanction you

Selfie at the foodbank, that’s a vote winner

Selfie at the foodbank, give the poors a free dinner

Selfie at the foodbank, vote~winning grin

It’s really not our fault we’re in the state we’re in.

Can I count on your vote, please?

Everyone ready? Say ‘cheese!’