Debt Is a Four-Letter Word – but it’s nothing to be ashamed of
Let me explain why.
I met someone recently who told me they cried on the phone to their mother with shame because they were having to see a debt adviser. Please don’t.
When my car breaks down – and it’s nearly 15 years old now so it has ‘issues’ – I take it to a mechanic. I don’t know how to fix it myself and I feel no shame about asking (and alas paying) someone that does for help.
Over the past decade (and a bit) I’ve talked to a lot of people who have debt problems they can’t fix themselves. People from all walks of life, all ages, all ethnicities, all genders. From the number-blind accountant who had developed a phobia of spreadsheets, to the retired GP who had tens of thousands of pounds of credit card debt he feared would be passed on to his family when he died, to the supermarket employee who had been left in dire straits when her husband disappeared, leaving her with years of unpaid bills and bailiff letters that had been hidden.
Business owners, unemployed people, people who were afflicted with illness, people whose lives fell apart without warning and found they simply couldn’t fix it alone. Some had addictions, some were victims of deception or abuse, some were taken advantage of and, yes, some merely spent more than they could really afford to spend.
But let’s put some of that at the doors of the greedy corporate monsters that are forever on your TVs and in your inboxes begging you to spend money.
And take note of how many of these companies absolutely want you to buy products, knowing that you can’t afford them, by offering Klarna or some other Buy Now Pay Later process. Are they ashamed of how much debt they encourage you to accumulate? Are they hell.
A special mention must go to all those borrowing just to get by, never clearing the debt and never thinking they will. There’s a whole financial sector that absolutely depends on you. Those organisations that offer another loan just as the last one is almost paid to keep their customer in the loop of borrowing and paying interest. This is debt borne out of necessity – no designer goods and no frills, just keeping a roof over the head and the meters and kitchen cupboards topped up. Someone should be ashamed of that debt but it’s not you.
Debt is a commodity like any other. Your debt keeps a whole industry going and thousands of people in employment; rich CEOs and overseas conglomerates get even richer, thanks to you. People like me have a job, thanks to you. People like me also have debts, so we’re in no position to judge you, we just have the knowledge to know what to do about it.
Think of the large charities that opine in the media about your suffering and the debt you are being plunged into. Raising awareness of societal ills is laudable and necessary. But let’s not pretend they’re not doing very nicely out of the poverty industry as well. We all have bills to pay.
Unscrupulous salespeople depend on you having debt because if they can hook you in with an advert on social media for a quick fix (that isn’t quick or a fix at all), they make money too. Lots of money. And they spend that money on luxury goods and designer teeth. The money flows in and out of the economy via you, starting with the banks and the loan companies and winding up in car showrooms, private dentists and designer boutiques.
Debt advisers are the mechanics of financial breakdowns, and if you are in debt you should feel zero shame about asking us to pop the hood and take a look. (Yes, it’s corny but I’m sticking with my analogy). We have a toolbox too and there are bits of kit in there you can’t access without a debt adviser – Debt Relief Orders and Breathing Spaces for example.
A good debt adviser will want to understand why your situation has become unmanageable – think of this as trying to identify where that rattle is coming from under the bonnet – but the last thing they should ever do is sit in judgment about it. Rather, they will be busy looking for solutions or a strategy to at least get you back on track.
A great debt adviser will never treat you as a ‘poor dear’ that needs tea and sympathy, but as an equal; a human being going through a rough patch, like every single one of us does. If whatever you’re going through is raw and painful, and you cry as you tell us what’s happened to you, we will listen just as any decent human being would. There’s no need to apologise or to feel shame for being human. By seeking help, you are courageous; facing up to the situation takes guts, even if you don’t feel strong right now.
The best thing about this advice is that it’s free to access (don’t ever pay anyone for debt advice). But don’t think that because it’s free it’s not valuable. Debt advisers are forensic, they constantly study and train to stay at the top of their game, and they can absolutely change lives for the better. And we care about the crap you are going through. We look at these problems through a lens which takes in a wide view of what is going wrong in society that makes so many people feel helpless and unable to cope. Patterns emerge, and the unfairness becomes clear. We don’t need WhatsApp Whistleblowers to tell us that the government looks after the rich and power corrupts from the top down. We see it every day. Do those caught with their fingers in the cookie jar feel shame? It doesn’t seem so. So why should you?
If you need advice, I would suggest starting the search with your local Council and asking what they offer. If they don’t offer it themselves they should be directing you to the nearest advice centre in the community. And of course, there are national helplines and websites available so you can access information in a way that suits you. Keep an eye out for impostors though, especially if using Google to search for debt advice. As mentioned earlier, your need for advice presents a lucrative opportunity for those who pretend to have what you need but are merely hoping to sell you into an IVA.
Independent advice from a qualified debt adviser is best. Look out for debt advisers with ‘MIMA Cert’ after their name. This means they are a certified member of the Institute of Money Advisers and have completed a qualification.
I love my job. I love meeting people for the first time, listening to the problem that brought them to me and sharing the knowledge I have to help fix it. It makes me feel useful, so thank you. I’ll then do the work required if you want me to and we’ll go on that journey together. You lead and I support you every step of the way. That’s the job. What you won’t get from me (nor hopefully any debt adviser) is sanctimony or judgment.
I don’t save anyone and I get paid for my work. You save yourself by asking the right person for help. And there’s no shame in that.
